


The Mermaid and the Ikemen

by Bloodyshadow1



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Crossdressing, F/M, Friends to Lovers, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:53:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodyshadow1/pseuds/Bloodyshadow1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots featuring my favorite characters Isogai and Kataoka ranging from romance, friendship, and anything else. I think they would be good together because they are cute and other reasons. Characters might be a bit out of character, but hopefully not too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Together

“Well that was a perfect waste of an afternoon,” Megu Kataoka, the female representative of Class 3-E said to her male counterpart. 

“When has there been a single council meeting that wasn’t though,” Yuuma Isogai said with his trademarked nice guy smile on his face. 

“I know they’ve always been crappy, but I remember in the past that they weren’t a slow hell like they were today,” Kataoka insisted. 

It was around six o’clock on Saturday by the time the class representative meeting for the school budget ended. The afternoon sun was burning harshly down on the two of them in the sky, as always next to the broken moon. The ten class reps went their separate ways with an air of resentment burning between two sides. Eight of them had walked back to their elaborate dormitories pissed that due to the machinations of the other two they weren’t able to bilk more money out of the ‘weakest’ classes’ funding. The remaining two remained a little longer to let the so called elites simmer in their unjust anger. After all, Class E’s budget was still being decreased by 10%, sure it less than what the other classes wanted, but they were still getting less money. It would have been more if not for the two reps from Class E shutting their arguments down whenever someone besides Anaso made a false argument against them. 

Still, a 10% decrease was enough for Kataoka and Isogai consent as an insult against their class. After all it had taken three hours to get the so called elites to back down that much. And Anaso did make a few logical, if not good, points about Class E being a fraction the size of the other classes, there wasn’t much need for them to have the same amount in their budget as everyone else. Truthfully, Class E’s reps knew that what the school president said was logical even if it wasn’t the reason why they were getting a decrease in their budget. In truth do to their unique situation with Koro-Sensei they were pretty much on the government’s stipend for a while so they didn’t need the money. Still they refused to budge on more than the 10% decrease simply out of principle rather than necessity. 

Isogai just kept grinning at his fuming partner as she continued to spit venom over the hellish council meeting they had just attended. He wondered if Kataoka really didn’t realize that she was the reason why their most recent meetings have been so bad, or at least the way she’s grown as a person. Back when they were first volunteered for the job no one else wanted the two of them had basically let the elites get their barbs in and deal with what every new unfair measure they had to suffer. Class E had been used back then, back before they had their miraculous octopus of a target/teacher to guide them. 

Isogai always let Kataoka argue with the other council member when it came to money anyway, it was an agreement they formed when they were both forced into their positions. His poor upbringing left him a bit naïve and unprepared when they talked about thousands of yen for the class it made his head spin. 

Koro-Sensei had helped out each of the 28 students of Class E in his own illogical insane way, Isogai admired the changes in Kataoka the most. She had always been a beautiful and sweet girl since he had met her during their mutual decent into Class E. His companion had blossomed under their Octopus teacher’s tutelage in ways he could only feel jealous over. She had grown so strong with her newfound confidence, true, she still thought that she could carry the weight of the world with her own load, but she didn’t just accept it anymore. Now, Kataoka helped others because she wanted to, not because she couldn’t say no like before. 

Isogai admired his partner’s growth, though if he was being honest with himself he would say that admiration wasn’t all he had for her. She was beautiful, sweet, smart, kind, the best girl with knives, and a thousand other things that made her a female ikeman. It actually surprised him that not everyone in the school had a crush on Kataoka like he did. A blessing he partially attributed to being part of Class E, after all if they were still in the main building Kataoka would have had guys flocking over her like crazy. 

He knew he was being selfish, but Isogai had been so happy to see that Kataoka had stayed in Class E. Coming in seventh in the composite score for the whole school would have normally allowed her an instant spot among the so called ‘Elites,’ of Class A, even if she was in Class E. But like the rest of them, save Takebayashi who left but came back, she chose to stay in their little. Still, he wondered what he would do if she choose to go back to the main building, what could he of done. After all, while coming in tenth place in composite scores for the final would have given him the opportunity to return to the main building, he wasn’t in Class E because of his grades. He was caught a while back having a part time job, which was against the school rules, which lead him to being disposed of into the old school building with the rest of the worthless trash. At least that’s what the guidance counselor said when he carried out the sentence, though he had used a lot more insults when he explained the situation. 

Isogai knew he would never be able to return to the main building again. Even if the rest of the class made it into the top fifty and were allowed to return, he would stay with the few others like Karma, the ones who were punished for their behavior not their grades. It would be hell. He knew that in a few months, if Koro-Sensei didn’t blow up the earth, that they would all move on to different high schools, and he accepted that. But to be kept in the building where the whole class became comrades, no, family, with only a handful of them remaining while the others returned, it would be the hell the other students always believed Class E to be. 

“Are you okay Isogai,” Kataoka asked interrupting his thoughts and placing a hand on his forehead. 

Startled he flinched a bit, more due to his reflexes than to actual fear, but he managed to recover himself quickly. “I’m fine Kataoka, I was just a bit lost in thought,” Isogai said trying to muffle his embarrassing reaction. Really though, flinching away from your crush when she tried to touch you, it didn’t get more embarrassing than that. 

“Sorry, I know can be a bit boring after one of those dreadful meetings. I do say the same things after all,” Kataoka admitted. “But still, as my friend and fellow class rep, I expect you to pay at least a little attention to my ramblings instead of ignoring me,” she said as she continued down their path. 

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” Isogai said trying to recover and catch up to his partner. “I was just-,” 

It turns out that he didn’t have to run to catch up, Kataoka, “I’m kidding Isogai,” she said once he returned to his place beside to her. “We all have things on our mind, with the school, with Sensei, with our own lives, it’s okay if you don’t have time to listen to my redundant gripes.” 

“I’ll always have time for you and your gripes,” Isogai said without thinking. When he realized what he said he slapped his hands over his mouth, he could feel his face turning red already. He cursed himself for being so stupid, ‘now she’s going to think I’m a creep,’ he thought. 

To his surprise though Kataoka didn’t say anything about what a loser or how terrible he was, she just smiled at him after a moment with that sweet smile of hers. And maybe, just maybe it was his imagination or wishful thinking, but when he stared at her Isogai thought he could see a bit of red on her cheeks as well. “Thank you Isogai, I’m glad I have someone like you with me,” she said before continuing to walk again. 

For a moment he just watched her walk away, wondering if he should do or say anything else, but he decided not to. He would tell her his feelings one day he decided, when they weren’t responsible for protecting their planet from the best teacher they ever had, he’d tell her. Until then he was content with being by her side and having her count on him. 


	2. Cliche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimer: Assassination Classroom isn’t mine, after all I am not Japanese nor do I live in Japan and I am not Yuusei Matsui so even if the first two were changed, the last one never will be.  
> The story takes place after the serious part of the vacation island arc and during the test of courage chapter right after (there are spoilers so tread carefully if you haven’t finished the arc). The characters might be a bit out of character since but hopefully you can look past that. I also realize that there is no actual evidence of these two being paired in the actual manga but they aren’t shown with anyone else so I took some artist license. Also one last thing, the whole princess carry thing for Kataoka is actually a real thing, it is shown in her character profile. That being said without further ado, please read and I hope you enjoy, if you do please write a review.

Kataoka cursed out loud as she clutched her ankle. The female class rep was pissed, after all, she was going through all this pain because of a stupid cliché. After the ordeal with their sadistic ex-P.E. teacher Takaoka Class E had spent the day asleep, some recovering from sickness while the rest regained the energy spent on the mission to save their comrades. They had only woken up a few hours ago to see Karasuma-Sensei’s latest failed attempted to kill their homeroom teacher while Koro-Sensei couldn’t move. None of them, not even Karasuma-Sensei, actually believed that Koro-Sensei would be killed by the attempt, but Class-E never did anything without taking a chance. 

When their octopus teacher/target returned to his normal state he congratulated them on accomplishing their mission. But then he reminded them that this was still their hard won vacation that they wrestled away from the elites of Class-A. ‘Let us put aside all that nastiness from last night. After all you don’t get a vacation on a tropical island like this every summer. Let’s shake out our tentacles and have some fun,’ Koro-Sensei said as he explained their activity for the night, ‘The Assassination Test of Courage’. They were to go down, through one of the island’s caves in boy-girl partnerships where they were to try and make it through without getting frightened. However like all things Class-E related there was a twist to this relatively normal game. Koro-Sensei would play the roles of the monsters all by himself and try to scare them, while giving the students a chance to try and kill him. 

It was a rather cliché attempt to get his students to perform some lovey-dovey acts or something, it was pretty obvious now that Kataoka looked back on it. At the time she didn’t really understand the need for boy-girl partners, some made sense like Chiba and Hayami who were practically partners in every assassination attempt they made since their failure to kill Koro-Sensei. Others didn’t quite made as much sense like Sugino and Kanzaki. Sure they got along with each other, but their skills weren’t in sync enough for them to be paired together on a mission like this. 

Kataoka cursed herself for not seeing it sooner. Back when the pairings were being doled out she was more concerned with not getting one of the three boys she didn’t want to be paired with. Her last choice would have been Okajima, the class pervert who she knew no girl wanted to be paired with. Luckily for Kataoka, but unfortunately for Kurahashi, the pervert was paired with the class nature lover. It wasn’t like Okajima would have done anything bad of course, he was a pervert, not a monster, but that didn’t mean any girl in the class wanted to be with him walking through a dark cave. 

Kataoka’s second to last choice was Takebayashi, the smartest boy in their class, other than perhaps Karma. He was nice enough if a bit awkward to talk to, but he was also the weakest boy in the class physically, he wouldn’t have been much help in the challenge. She didn’t see who Takebayashi was paired with since she was paired with her third worst candidate to go through the caves with, Isogai, her fellow class rep. 

Isogai was one of the best students in the class both physically and mentally, and he happened to also be incredibly nice. Not to mention he was an utter dream boat, most girls in the school would have given their left arm to be the one to go on a walk of courage with Isogai. To be fair though most of those same girls would have probably given their left arms to go on a walk of courage with her also, so that might say more about the quality of boys to date at Kunugigaoka than either of their attractiveness, but Kataoka stands by her opinion. Isogai was practically perfect with his physical abilities, his brains, his perfect looks, and most of all his kindness. If he turned out to be a Mary Sue character insert character in someone’s fantasy world Kataoka would hardly be surprised. Even the antenna that stuck out of his head should have been annoying to see on anyone else. Yet on Isogai they looked adorable, girls and sometimes grown women swoon whenever he looked at them. Kataoka was no different, no stranger to the Ikemen’s charm or good looks, which is why after Okajima and Takebayashi, Isogai would have been her last choice on the stupid Assassination of Courage. 

Isogai would have been the perfect partner for an assassination mission, and on the occasion the two of them weren’t leading two separate groups of the class they usually were. But those times were all different, they had always been in a group or with the whole class, not alone together. Given their jobs as class reps and being some of the more competent members of the class they spent a lot of time together and had grown to be friends, but the idea of walking through dark caves alone with only him at her side terrified Kataoka. 

The female class rep of Class-E had been so worried on their travel through the maze of caves about tripping or stumbling or anything cliché like that in front of her crush that she did just that. At the beginning, despite Kataoka’s fears the conversation between the two had been comfortable even though they were on guard, everything she did with Isogai had always felt comfortable. But in the light of their single flashlight and the few torches Koro-Sensei had put up for ambiance, Kataoka’s tough exterior seemed to melt away and turned her into a clumsy girl from a shoujo manga. It started when she tripped over a rock and felt back onto her partner. Of course he caught her since that’s what bishonen boys like Isogai did when they saw a girl fall in front of them. 

For a moment she stayed quite, even though Isogai, true to his nature, asked if she was okay at least twice before she answered. “Y-yes,” Kataoka managed to uncharacteristically squeak out, “I’m fine. Thank you,” she said pushing away from him. For once she was happy that they were in a dark cave since she knew her face was bright red. 

There was an awkward silence growing between the two of them, but luckily their super-fast sensei interrupted them. “Nurufufufu,” an all too familiar laugh rang through the cavern, “there was once a beautiful octomaid who fell in love with what could be considered the perfect man. He was handsome, smart, strong, and above all kind,” the voice said. “So kind in fact that when the octomaid asked him to follow her into the depths forever he agreed, not having the heart to turn her down. And so he drown, due to his love and the poor octomaid died of grief, knowing he had died by following her,” Koro-Sensei said in a somber voice. He floated in front of the two class leaders, not dressed in his normal attire, no, he was dressed in an incredibly fake beard and a toga, as if he was a story teller from ancient Rome. It didn’t quite fit the atmosphere of the dark cave, but Koro-Sensei wasn’t known for his authenticity. “Their souls are trapped in here forever, unless they see some lovey dovey spooning,” he said finally his tone never changing from the serious and raspy whisper of the character he was trying to play. 

Isogai and Kataoka’s eyes went white as their faces went blank, if Koro-Sensei had been trying to scare them, he hadn’t done a good job. In fact his half assed retelling of the little mermaid and attire that didn’t match the story or the setting dispelled a lot of the caves creepiness. Instead of making the two of them frightened enough to obey the rules of his stupid story, it only led to Kataoka getting angry. 

“Sensei,” Kataoka shouted as she forced herself away from Isogai, and took out the special anti-Sensei air-pistol that they were all given when he first started working at the school. No one in the class other than Ritsu had managed to even graze with one of the bullets that would destroy his cells, but it was usually enough to chase him away. His intent was clear enough now, “this is supposed to be a horror walk, not a dating sim,” she shouted opening fire. 

“According to the manga I borrowed from Fuwa this isn’t supposed to be how it goes,” Koro-Sensei said dodging the bb pellets and ‘running’ away. He slipped down the corner in front of Kataoka and Isogai leading to Kataoka giving chase. She knew it was stupid to run after him in this dark cave, especially when she was concentrating on shooting instead of watching where she was going, but she was so angry at their teacher. Kataoka knew she had a bit of a temper, usually it sprung up when others were treated unfairly or when people acted perverted, but other times it just came out like when she was embarrassed like this. 

Maybe if Isogai wasn’t there she could have at least pretended to be calmer, but he was there and he heard Sensei’s plan to get the two of them together. Kataoka chased after Koro-Sensei until he floated around the corner and used his full Mach 20 speed to run away. Unfortunately it seems neither realized that as the path continued it sloped down and became steeper. It was no problem for Koro-Sensei due to his ability to fly and with his speed he was out of their sight in an instant, for Kataoka though it was another story. No matter how skilled of an athlete you are, running downhill at full speed in a damp dark cave as you turn a sharp corner while chasing your super octopus of a sensei doesn’t work out well. 

Thanks to her assassin training Kataoka wasn’t terribly hurt, but she landed wrong as she reached the bottom of the incline. Which brings her back to the beginning; she was hunched over at the bottom of the slope with the most clichéd pain of all inflicted upon her outside of soap opera disease, a twisted ankle. If she was lucky Isogai would come a second later and give her a piggy back ride or something, ‘not that I would mind,’ Kataoka mused, ‘Isogai does have a pretty comfortable looking back. No, stop it,’ she mentally slapped herself she didn’t care about the situation, Isogai giving her a piggy back was not acceptable. 

“Kataoka,” a voice shouted from behind her, it sounded like Isogai was running to check on her. 

“Be careful it’s slippery,” Kataoka shouted back to warn him. She knew that she could survive the embarrassment of having him help her, but she would never forgive herself if he hurt himself because of her stupidity. 

She could hear his footsteps slowing down, but not enough that she didn’t worry that he was still rushing because of her. “Are you alright,” Isogai asked in his typical nice guy tone, worried but filled with kindness. He knelt down next to her and examined her leg, “I don’t think it’s broken,” he told her. He was so gentle that she barely even noticed until he touched the ankle itself and she let out a wince. “Sorry,” he said looking into her eyes when he noticed her discomfort, “I’m not the best at first aid unfortunately, it looks like I have to work on my bedside manner,” he gave her a comforting smile. 

“Well you know me,” Kataoka said shakily trying to keep how much her ankle hurt a secret from her crush, “I love to help. Don’t worry, just give me your shoulder I think I’ll be able to limp to the exit,” she said grabbing his shoulder and trying to force herself up. She knew it wouldn’t work, but she wanted to at least pretend like it would. 

“Yeah I know Kataoka, your desire to help is something that I-everyone loves about you,” Isogai said stumbling over his words a bit as he stopped her from rising and lowered her back to the ground. “But sometimes you need to let other people help you,” he said making sure that she looked into his eyes to get the message. “Your leg shouldn’t take any unnecessary weight if we can help it or it could get worse. Let me carry you to the exit, it shouldn’t be far and you aren’t heavy so it would be a benefit to both of us and we will get out of here quicker,” he said never taking his entirely sincere eyes away from her own. 

For a moment all they did was look silently into each other’s eyes before Kataoka turned away with a huff, “fine,” she conceded. “Turn around and I’ll get on your back,” she tried to say it before Isogai scooped her up into his arms as if she was a princess. “What are you doing,” she practically shrieked. 

“What,” Isogai answered more than asked, “this is the best way to carry you while keeping your ankle elevated. Is there something wrong?” 

Her face burned but Kataoka managed to answer, “n-no, no you’re right,” she conceded seeing the logic of his answer. “It’s just that most girls aren’t used to being swept up like that, least of all me,” she mumbled the last part. Truthfully she had always wanted to be carried like a princess, but when anyone learned that they assumed that she wanted to do the carrying. That was how she got stuck lifting every girl in Class E into her arms one day during the semester when Kayano found out. She did it of course, each girl was gracefully lifted up into the arms of Ikemegu like a princess and she let them stay for about a minute before gently placing them back to their feet and moved on to the next one. Still, she didn’t mind getting carried by Isogai, though she never thought it would have happened. ‘Maybe I won’t kill Sensei over his cliché ridden dating scenario,’ Kataoka thought as she snuggled deeper into his embrace. Since she was finally getting what she wanted with the boy of her dreams she figured she could just sit back and enjoy it for as long as it lasted to hell with how red her face turned. 

As the two of them continued on their journey, Kataoka was happy to be in the arms of her crush. Isogai on the other hand was just happy that he managed to get Nakamura to spill Kataoka’s secret desire. 


	3. starcrossed

“Alright so we are all in agreement,” Isogai addressed the rest of Class 3-E from Koro-Sensei’s desk, Kataoka at his side looking miserable. Everyone in class save a few nodded or raised their hands, Ritsu even texted him her agreement, “alright then, this year for the school play we are doing a gender bent version of Romeo and Juliet,” he announced, not quite believing that he had said those words out loud. Isogai would have preferred to do something like Faust as Karma suggested. That however had been vetoed since everyone agreed that not only were there not enough roles for the whole class to perform, but Karma as Mephistopheles was too a terrifying notion. But if that was what the class wanted to do he wasn’t going to argue. After all, when Nakamura made the suggestion everyone was on board, except for Kataoka and Nagisa, they probably knew what was coming. 

“Well than that’s everything for right now,” Isogai said shaking his head. He knew that the play was going to turn out embarrassing for everyone involved. Luckily there were so few female characters and Juliet was practically spoken for, maybe he would draw the short straw and get the Nurse or Lady Capulet, but he could deal with that. “Talk amongst yourselves when you have free time today and at the end of the day we will vote on who are going to play what role,” and with that Isogai and Kataoka who looked far more depressed returned to their seats so Koro-Sensei could start the days lesson. 

The day went on like any other for the most part, math and science early then P.E. with Karasuma Sensei, followed by lunch. 

The classroom was abuzz with talk of the play and who should play what parts. Isogai ate with Maehara and Kataoka, but the atmosphere was tense and the womanizer was the only one making conversation. “So I was with this girl Reina last weekend, and I must say I picked a winner. She’s gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet, and best of all she doesn’t go to this school so there’s none of that Class-E bullshit to put up with,” Maehara said more out loud than to either of them. It was an odd sort of friendship the three of them had, after all more girls had probably asked one of them out than all of Classes D and C combine. Noticing that neither of his companions was in the mood to talk Maehara just separated his chopsticks with a loud snap and dug into his bento that a girl he didn’t know the name of made for him. “Alright fine, we can eat lunch quietly. I’m not gonna go through the trouble of entertaining you two with my tales of romance if you’re not even gonna pretend to listen.” 

“Sorry Maehara, it’s just that there are other things on my mind,” Isogai said sincerely. Even if he didn’t want to hear another story about his friend’s latest conquest the ikemen felt bad about not only half listening to his best friend. After all he didn’t have anything to worry about, he was more staying quite for Kataoka’s sake. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Kataoka said after a pause. Hers was less sincere, but still had some genuineness to it. 

Maehara stopped putting and just let out sigh and kept eating. “It’s cool,” he said through a mouthful of rice, “I mean, we’re all nervous about not wanting to get picked for the play. I mean, it is one thing to want to perform a play like Romeo and Juliet, but to do it in drag is another thing. It’s lucky that there are so few girl roles in it though so the chance of actually having to go on stage is low for the boys,” he said methodically. 

“Especially with Nagisa in our class,” Isogai said finding himself drawn into the conversation even though it went against his better judgment, “he’s practically guaranteed to be voted in as Juliet.” The three of them looked over to ambiguous ‘boy,’ who was eating lunch with Sugino and Karma, he looked nervous at the mass of girls who were gathered in a huddle of whispers on the other side of the classroom. Apparently he was thinking the same thing since he had barely touched his lunch. 

“While I on the other hand am practically a shoe in to play Romeo, I know,” Kataoka said bringing the two boys back to their little group. She was obviously trying to hide how frustrated she was with the whole having to play a guy thing, but she wasn’t doing a very good job. 

She looked so miserable that Isogai had to try to cheer her up, “well I mean even if it is inevitable, I’m sure you’re going to be a great Romeo.” The second the words left his mouth he knew he had made a mistake. 

“Dude,” Maehara just shook his head wondering how the smooth ikemen of Class 3-E could say something so stupid. 

“Really, you think I’d be great at playing a guy,” Kataoka said giving him the falsest sweet smile and fluttering her eyelashes in a deadly manner. Kataoka’s dark feelings emanated from her like miasma and Isogai knew he was facing a monster far more dangerous than any test or octopus like sensei. “Is it because I look and act so masculine?” 

“No, of course not,” Isogai said stumbling over his words, “it’s just that you are great in anything you do and if you put your mind to it I can easily see you carrying yourself in a princely manner.” 

“Not helping yourself,” Maehara said adding commentary. 

“I know,” Isogai said wincing in resignation. Kataoka’s negative aura could be felt now and it frightened him. 

Kataoka fumed and just stared at Isogai intently as if wondering what evil thing she would do to punish him. Surprisingly enough though, instead of lashing out with the skills she learned from their assassin training and her natural athleticism, she walked away from the two of them without a word and joined the cluster of girls. 

“Well that’s not going to end well for you,” Maehara said putting his hand on Isogai’s shoulder in condolence. 

And once again Isogai simply repeated, “I know.” 

After lunch it was foreign languages with Bitch Sensei and ending the day was Koro-Sensei’s social studies lesson, Isogai’s best subject so it seemed like it would end on a better note even if Kataoka still hadn’t said a word to him. There was only one thing to do before leaving the classroom for the day and that was to get the final votes. Kataoka collected the papers everyone handed in and counted the boy votes while Isogai wrote all the names on the blackboard and counted the girl votes. “…Finally, Kayano will be playing the role of Benvolio, Kanzaki will be playing the role of Tybalt, Okuda will be playing Mercutio, and Kataoka will be playing the lead Romeo,” Isogai said finishing as quickly as he could because he didn’t want to prolong Kataoka’s embarrassment longer than he had to. He wasn’t sure if any of the roles beyond Kataoka fit the actors, but he wasn’t going to say anything, after all the class had spoken. 

However it turned out that Kataoka didn’t look at all upset after hearing the news, in fact she had a rather disturbing grin on her face as she replaced him and addressed the class while Isogai moved to the blackboard. “While we only have four roles for the boys, I’m sure they will do a fantastic job,” she said giving everyone a sweet smile that made Isogai nervous. “Karma will be playing the role of the Nurse, Maehara will be playing the role of Lady Capulet, and Nagisa will be playing the role of Rosaline,” she said happily and Isogai paused with his writing. 

“Wha,” he said, Isogai knew he had heard Kataoka correctly, but he couldn’t believe it. 

“That’s correct Isogai, Nagisa is playing Rosaline,” Kataoka said, her voice dripping with that false sweetness. “And finally,” she said continuing to address the class, “or very own class president Isogai will be playing the role of Juliet. Congratulations,” she said to him, just how sincere she was abundantly clear on her face. 

“I’m Juliet,” Isogai asked, more surprised than anything. “I would have thought that… another person would have been the first choice,” he said slipping. He didn’t want to call Nagisa out in front of the whole class after all. The other boy looked just as surprised as anyone else who didn’t vote for Isogai, but he also looked relieved. After all sure he was playing a girl still, but if it wasn’t the lead it wouldn’t be nearly as bad. 

“Yeah I know we were all thinking that Nagisa would be Juliet, simply because dressing in drag is his thing,” Nakamura, who put the idea for the play before the class and was chose to direct it, said. 

“That’s not true,” Nagisa said exasperated, no one listened though. 

“But then we thought about it a bit when we were discussing who to vote for and we realized that if Nagisa were to play Juliet than the logical choice for Romeo would be Karma,” Nakamura continued as if Nagisa hadn’t said anything. Several girls nodded, someone even said out loud that they would make a cute couple. “Since this is a genderbent Romeo and Juliet though we couldn’t have that, and if there wasn’t gonna be a kiss between the classes OTP than what’s the point in making Nagisa Parade around in a big fancy dress. I mean I would enjoy it,” she admitted, “but it would be less of a treat for the whole class.” The whole time as she spoke Nagisa had an odd look on his face, like he wanted to argue, but at the same he didn’t want to draw Nakamura’s attention. 

“That’s why we decided to make Nagisa Rosaline, that way we all get to see him in drag but he doesn’t have to kiss someone who isn’t the class OPT,” Nakamura went on as if it was the most logical thing in the world. 

“Does Rosaline even have any lines? I mean isn’t she more of a device than an actual character,” Isogai asked trying to get out of the situation he was inevitably forced into. 

“That was brought up,” Kataoka said a bit testily, “we will simply add a scene or two to flesh out her character, it doesn’t have to be a complete clone of the story or it wouldn’t be fun for anyone.”

“Yeah don’t worry about it Isogai, I’m sure I’ll think of something if only to get our trap into a dress on stage,” Nakamura assured him, even though that was not what he was worried about. “Besides,” she continued, “we want our Juliet to be something special, don’t get me wrong, Nagisa is one of the prettiest girls in school, but let’s face it, when you put him in girls clothes you can see him being a bit of a tramp,” Nakamura said. 

“The hell,” Nagisa spat out, actually deciding that this was worth speaking up over, but he was ignored as Nakamura continued. 

“We need our Juliet to be someone who is something more than just a mere girl in Shakespearian Italy, we need her to be something great,” Nakamura said now standing up on her desk as if it was a soapbox. “Of course she needs to be pretty, but she also needs to radiate an air of strength as well as beauty, grace as well as carrying a maidenly innocence. And tell me, who fits that role better than our very own Ikemen?” 

“W-well,” Isogai started to say not exactly sure how to argue against her.

“Oh calm down Isogai,” Kataoka said, the smile never leaving her face, “it won’t be so bad and I’m sure you’re going to make a lovely Juliet.” 

That sealed any arguments he was going to make, after all he had said the same to comfort her, how could he back away now. “Well than,” Isogai said through his teeth, how could I refuse such an honor.” 

“Great, I think that’s it then,” Kataoka said addressing the class, “tomorrow we will decide on the other jobs that don’t require an actor or an actress and we will be doing other brainstorming related to the play. Have a good night,” she said and every shuffled out of the classroom. While she normally walked home with Isogai and a few others, today she gravitated to some of the other girls in the class. Nakamura was there talking about the play with Kayano and Okuda about the play and what they were looking forward too. Hinata and Hinano were talking with Kanzaki about how she would be great on stage while the class Madonna only shook her head saying she’ll be lucky to make it on stage without fainting of fright. 

“Wasn’t Isogai’s face something,” Nakamura commented to the group, “I don’t think he saw it coming in a million years.” They all let out a giggle remembering his shock, “it’s too bad we won’t get our yaoi scenes but at least we got to help out our girl Kataoka here,” she said as she wrapped her arm around the class rep. 

They all laughed Kataoka among them, “thank you girls, I mean I know he was trying to help, but when Isogai tried to make me feel better he said all the wrong things. I just wanted to get him back so he would know how it feels,” she said happily. 

“No problem,” Nakamura said, “we are always willing to help out one of our girls get revenge and her man. Not to mention that he was already going to be one of the top choices to be our Juliet once Nagisa was out of the running. He’s one of the prettiest boys in class and being our ikemen he would put all his will into the play so he would be a good actor like everything else he does.” 

“Still, I just wanted to thank you guys for doing me a favor and-,” Kataoka started to give the others her heartfelt thanks before she realized what Nakamura had said. “What!” 

“Well yeah,” Nakamura said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I mean Romeo and Juliet, the most well-known romantic play ever performed by middle schoolers, it’s kind of obvious why you wanted him to be your Juliet.” 

“It’s not like that,” Kataoka protested red in the face, “I just wanted to get back at him for what he said!” 

“Get back at him, or get with him,” Nakamura teased. 

“There’s no reason to be ashamed Kataoka,” Okuma said, “after all it’s a bold strategy, but you are one of the class leaders, strategy is your business. I only wish we could all be so bold with the boys we like,” she sighed, her mind drifting to a certain psychopath she was enamored with. 

“Yeah, I mean we all thought about doing something like this with one of our crushes, don’t feel bad because you were brave enough to carry it out,” Kayano said giving the class rep an encouraging smile. 

“I didn’t do it so that I could romance him or anything,” Kataoka protested, “I just wanted revenge that’s all.” 

“So you don’t have a crush on Isogai,” Nakamura asked slyly, everyone present already knew the answer, Nakamura just wanted Kataoka to come out and say it. 

“Well,” Kataoka said rubbing the back of her head, as if she didn’t want to talk about it, which she really didn’t. “I wouldn’t say that exactly, I mean it is Isogai after all, you can’t really deny that he’s at least good looking. And athletic, and really sweet when he isn’t being an idiot,” she continued dreamily as before snapping out of it. “Maybe I have feelings for him, but it’s not like most of the girls in the main building don’t feeling the same,” she admitted to herself as she hung her head. 

“Well yeah,” Nakamura admitted before throwing her arms around Kataoka in support, “but most of those girls are bitches, and practically every one of the girls who want to date Isogai also want to date you,” Nakamura shouted in an attempt to be encouraging. “And that’s before they see you dressed up in your Romeo costume. Actually now that I think about it, when the cultural festival comes around we could do a maid/butler café. We get Kataoka dressed as a butler and Isogai dressed like a maid we’ll be rich. Also we can force Nagisa into a maid costume its brilliant,” she said pumping her fist in excitement. “Actually do you think Isogai would sell better as a butler or a cross-dressing maid, I mean Nagisa definitely has to go in drag, but our male rep could get a lot of girls excited in a fancy butler uniform. Plus if he is dressed like a butler we could have some fake yaoi scenes with him in butler Kataoka. Two of the most desired students at the school, one bishonen, the other bishoujo, dressed like butlers talking about serving their masters that would drive the customers wild,” she said losing herself in her daydream and getting excited herself. 

“Nakamura,” Kayano said gently breaking the eccentric girl out of her delusion, “you’re getting off track. We are trying to make Kataoka feel better about her crush on Isogai,” she wanted to help her friend and Nakamura drifting off on a tangent wouldn’t help anyone. Not to mention she was starting to get a nosebleed from the picture Nakamura was painting for them. 

“Right,” Nakamura said getting back on track and clearing her throat. “Kataoka, you have something all those other girls in the main build don’t, a lot of things actually. You’re pretty, you’re nice, hell you’re the smartest girl in school. But the big thing that you have and all those other bitches in the main building don’t, is opportunity,” Nakamura said gravely. 

“What do you mean,” Kataoka said, “do you mean that I have a chance because we’re both in Class E and we see each other every day, because that isn’t much to go on.” 

“Well yes, that’s true, but I meant the play,” Nakamura said looking Kataoka in the eye and placing both hands on the other girl’s shoulders. “You are playing Romeo to his Juliet, think about it; the pageantry, the heat of the moment, the magic of the theatre, being on stage together and the kisses. Seriously, it’s something someone with a crush on Isogai would kill for and you have the opportunity drop into your lap.” 

Kataoka was quiet though and they started to wonder what was she was thinking, “Kataoka,” Kanzaki said cautiously. 

“Are you alright,” Hinano asked, following her lead. 

“I-I forgot about the kiss,” Kataoka said louder than she wanted. Slapping her forehead in frustration, “I can’t believe it, I was so blinded by trying to get back at Isogai that I completely forgot about the kiss. 

“Well which one,” Nakamura asked not reading the context of what Kataoka was saying. 

“Nakamura,” Hinata said elbowing her gently. 

“What, there are a couple of them,” Nakamura said defending herself. 

“How am I going to kiss him,” Kataoka asked more aloud than to any of them, “especially now that I got my petty revenge. He must be so angry with me how will we be able to kiss each other on stage in front of all everyone if he can’t stand the sight of me?” 

“Come on Kataoka,” Okuma said trying to calm her down, “there’s no way Isogai would hate you ever, especially over something like this. I mean he doesn’t hate the five virtuosos of Class A and they tried to blackmail him and hurt the boys of our class. He wouldn’t hate you over a little thing like dressing like a girl for the school play.” 

“Not to mention that even if he was mad at you, I doubt he would refuse a chance to kiss you. Actually I doubt that there’s a person in this school who would refuse to kiss you of all people if you had to do it in front of their grandmother that you ran over,” Hinata added thinking about it. 

“Listen,” Nakamura said once again putting her arm around Kataoka, “Isogai is not going to mind this little revenge thing of yours, he’s too nice and you’re too nice to stay mad at. The play isn’t for a month anyway so there’s plenty of time to worry about it so worry later.” 

“Not to mention that just because you’re going to kiss your Juliet doesn’t mean that’s the whole play,” Kayano added. 

“That’s right,” Kanzaki said, “like killing me, trust me it’s gonna be hard, I’m tougher than I look,” she said flexing her slender arms to show off the muscles that didn’t exist. 

Everybody laughed at that, even Kataoka, “thanks guys,” she said when they eventually stopped. She decided to take their advice; there would be a lot of embarrassing moments between getting fitted for costumes and rehearsals, she didn’t need to get all worked up yet. Besides, maybe the kiss they had to do… wouldn’t be that bad. 


	4. Job

Summer was ending soon, it was still warm out, but the signs were all there. Mornings getting colder, days getting shorter, and the like; it was enough to depress a person, especially since it might be the end of the Earth’s last summer. Such thoughts put a lot of pressure on the members of Class E who were tasked to kill the best teacher they ever had to save the world. After the whole Takebayashi it was a whole lot harder, after all it was hard to make the world seem important after being treated like garbage by the whole school and the Chairman’s underhanded methods. 

During the weekend Koro-Sensei told them to take their day off to recharge a bit so that they would bright eyed and bushy tailed on Monday when they returned to kill him. The students of Class 3-E all went about to do different things outside of the school where they could just be kids again instead of the outcast assassins they had been forced to become. The some like the delinquents of the class slept in late and did something simple and fun like play basketball or go biking. 

Others like the sniper duo wanted to continue to improve their skills so they did made good use of their time and played paintball. They were laughed at when they showed up, after all they were middle schoolers and everyone else playing was adults. After the first few minutes though, only Chiba and Hayami were free of paint and it quickly devolved into a duel between Class E’s snipers. On the line was a simple bet between the two of them, the winner would decide on the next activity they did. In the end it was close, but Hayami won. Chiba might have had the edge in long range combat because he was a better sniper, but the cheap paintball guns they rented at the range didn’t have the same capabilities as the military airsoft guns they received to kill Koro-Sensei. When shot from too far away the paint pellet would veer off course and miss its target. While he could compensate for the handicap eventually, against someone like Hayami he knew he wouldn’t have the time and instead took a gamble that failed when he changed their battle into a mid-range fire fight. Hayami had the advantage with shorter ranges and the handgun paint guns she used were her specialty and it became her game. They left the range that day and went to dance, Hayami it demanded as her prize. Chiba had lost the match and had a blue splotch of paint on his shirt, not to mention the bruise that was already forming but didn’t actually seem to mind. 

While a lot of the other students of the class took their time to enjoy themselves like Koro-Sensei said, Isogai had to work. Technically he didn’t have to, he wasn’t even really supposed to since he was still in middle school, but helping his family came first regardless of what the school could do to him. And luckily, it was far enough from the school that rarely anyone came that would recognize him, at least that’s how it had worked out so far. 

Still, luck had an odd relationship with Yuuma Isogai since birth. It had blessed him with talent, looks, brains, and personality while trapping him into a poor family where he had little chance to escape the poverty he had been born into. He had been able to attend Kunugigaoka, one of the country’s most prestigious schools only to be knocked down to Class 3-E when he was caught attempting to work hard and raise his family out of poverty against school regulation. Such had been Isogai’s life and he had always bore it without complaint, and that day would be no different. 

Isogai didn’t mind his work at the café, it wasn’t at all hard not to mention the customers and staff adored him so he made good money even without tips. In fact he was already nearing the end of his shift, he had been asked to come in early to set up before the morning rush so he would have off the rest of the afternoon in less than an hour. Class 3-E’s male rep wouldn’t have minded working the whole day if he had too, but he did what the manager/owner wanted without question. In truth the manager didn’t even really need the Ikemen to come in early, the elderly matron who owned the café simply wanted the young man to enjoy what he had left of his summer instead of toiling away. She had learned early that it was simply easier to get him work different times so he could enjoy the day instead of telling him to take a day off. 

“Come on, let’s go to this café, one of my friends from another school came here once and said that the food was really good and one of the waiters was really cute,” the, ‘oh too familiar voice,’ of Nakamura rang out from the outside. 

“Oh no,” Isogai sighed flatly, he didn’t really mean it. He knew what was happening and what would happen; after all he knew his luck. The bell rang and he played his part, “hello, welcome, what may I do for your today,” he said giving his classmates his classic nice guy smile. 

“Isogai,” Kataoka more surprised than anything. 

She had been enjoying a nice afternoon of shopping away from the school and being a normal girl with Kayano, Nakamura, and Okuda. They were lucky that they had received their training from Karasuma-Sensei since going shopping with the hot-blooded Nakamura was like going to war itself. Still, the English ace had managed to lead them to a lot of good sales so they could all call it a victory. It wasn’t until they ran into a group of girls from the main building of their school that they ran into trouble, which came in the form of girls from the main building. She had seen around back when she was in the main building and a few times when she helped Kokona but she didn’t know their names. 

It quickly devolved into regular Class E bashing, but maybe a bit cattier, if Kataoka read the whole situation right. It was always awkward for her since she was always on the outside of the bashing. Aside from the more general group insults thrown at all of Class E, none of the girls from the main building tried to slight Kataoka. After all how could they, since she was tied for in 7th over all grades in school and was widely known as one of the best athletes as well. Not to mention, that she was considered one of the best looking girls in the school, most of the girls wanted her to be their ‘big sister,’ if not something more. At least one of the girls throwing heated glances at her during the argument between main building girl’s leader and Nakamura, and not the same heat at that. 

Kataoka didn’t know why she had the ability to attract lesbians or turn most girls at least bisexual for her. It was a curse she had had since elementary school, growing up she had been taller than all the other girls and stronger, as strong as the boys if not stronger. She was the one all the other girls in class turned to stop bullying instead of the teacher since Kataoka actually got results. That was when she developed her own little posse of other girls fawning over her, fighting over who could carry her books, doing anything for a pat on the head. In hindsight it seemed rather obvious, but they were only little girls back then, the love confessions didn’t start until middle school. It wasn’t like it was horrible and she was flattered by the attention, but when girls left their boyfriends for her believing her to be their one true love and crashing when she turned them down, it got grating. If she was a boy, or gay, or bisexual, or anything to do with being sexually attracted to women Kataoka would have loved her situation, but since she wasn’t and didn’t her ability to attract women always created awkward situations for her. 

Still even without her intervention Nakamura managed to send the girls from the main building away with far cleverer insults than they could have thought up. While she may act like a perverse thug who wields insults like cudgels, she was far more subtle than that. After all she was the top score in English during the last big exam and could convince others to do things that they would later swear they didn’t want to do with only a few words. No, Nakamura was truly the most eloquent speaker of Class-E, save for perhaps Kanzaki who is far less malicious with her words. 

So with a huff and a few insults that didn’t have the intelligence or fire of Nakamura’s the girls from the main building fled in frustration abandoning the prize they had been fighting over. Before they left though the girl that had been eyeing Kataoka managed to stuff a card with her number on it and told the swimmer to call her sometime before returning to flee with her friends. Truly it would have been an odd situation if they were not members of Class 3-E at Kunugigaoka middle school. 

Even though she had won the fight, ever the firecracker, Nakamura was still a bit charged from putting the main building girl in her place. “Come on, maybe we should go to the bad parts of town and pick fights with thugs,” she suggested with a slasher’s smile. 

“How about we don’t,” Kayano said shiver slightly. 

“Yeah I vote no too,” Okuda said also slightly nervous. 

“That’s right,” Kataoka said remembering their stories at the hotel during the school trip to Kyoto. “The two of you ran into some trouble with thugs from another school right?” 

“Yeah,” Okuda said nodding furiously, “they were high schoolers and it was really scary. Kayano and Kanzaki got the worst of it though, I managed to hide,” she squeaked out the last part sounding ashamed. 

“It was horrible for all of us Manami,” Kayano said encouraging her friend, “I would have hid too if I had the chance.” The sweets lover was trying to sound brave, but the incident clearly still bothered her, “good thing Sensei was there otherwise we would have been in trouble.” 

That had kind of killed Nakamura’s mood, “I wasn’t serious,” she said kicking the dirt a bit like a toddler. 

Sensing the black cloud starting to hover over them Kataoka did what any leader would do and tried to raise the moral. “Come on everybody, that’s enough of that,” she said clapping loudly waking everyone up. “No more talk of bullies and thugs. It’s a nice day and it’s not even noon yet, we won’t have that many more so let’s enjoy this one,” she said hoping it didn’t sound too cheesy. 

The girls looked at her for a second and then started laughing, not hurtful laughing but it managed to make the class rep blush. “You are too cute Kataoka,” Kayano said giggling, but the negative attitude infecting them seemed to clear up. 

“Hey I have an idea,” Nakamura said with a snap of her fingers, “it’s hot and we’ve been shopping for a few hours, let’s take a break and go get something to drink.” 

“That does sound like a good idea, I wouldn’t mind something to drink,” Kataoka said diplomatically. It wasn’t even noon yet, but sitting down and chatting with friends was hardly the worst thing in the world. 

“I’d be fine with that,” Kayano said, she didn’t have the stamina of Kataoka or Nakamura and she was more than happy enough to sit down. 

“I’d be okay with that too,” Okuda said quietly, she was still so shy when it came to voicing her opinion. “Where should we go though?” 

Nakamura scanned for what was around until a café caught her eye. “Come on, let’s go to this café, one of my friends from another school came here once and said that the food was really good and one of the waiters was really cute,” she said pushing her friends into a café nearby. 

“Oh no,” “Isogai,” and now you’re caught up. “Hello, what may I do for your today,” Isogai said trying to maintain his composure, but his nervousness was still visible to his classmates. 

“Table for four I guess,” Nakamura said taking the lead, she didn’t know why Isogai was working there, but he was nervous even for him so she didn’t want to press it in the door way. He’d be more fun to tease at the table. She was a bit disappointed that the guy her friends from other schools went on and on about was just Isogai. Not that he wasn’t good looking or anything, but she saw him almost every day and Nakamura knew he wasn’t her type. Her girl Kataoka had a thing for her fellow ikemen and Nakamura wasn’t one to step on a friend’s toes. ‘Isogai would look good in a skirt though,’ she said to herself as she checked out his bum when he brought them to their booth. 

She wondered why he was working here in a nice, but kind of small café that old ladies go to. Old ladies tend to be sweet to ikemen like Isogai, but then don’t always tip well. There was no denying that Isogai’s family was poor, it was just him and his mom after all and a part-time job probably helped keep expenses down. Still, if he needed money he could make more money by working at a maid café, Nakamura wondered, but different strokes and all that. 

“Here are some menus ladies,” Isogai said passing out four menus to his classmates, the worry was clear on his face but he was able to maintain a professional front. He knew that they wouldn’t snitch on him, they were comrades after all and friends. But when he first saw people from Kunugigaoka he had a flashback to the last time he was caught working a part-time job. 

“Isogai,” a soft and quite voice called out to him as he turned to leave to see other tables while they thought about what they wanted. “Why are you working here,” Kataoka asked her face full of worry, as the female class president of Class 3-E she knew as much as he did the trouble he could get into if the chairman found out he had a part-time job. Have a job was the reason he was forced to become a member of Class-E in the first place, if he got caught again… she didn’t want to think about it. “You know how much trouble you could get into,” she didn’t want to sound preachy, but she was worried about him… as friends should be. 

Letting out a sigh he turned back towards them, the manager didn’t mind most of the time if his staff spent time talking to customers, in fact he complimented Isogai on his rapport with them. Happy customers meant they would come back, so an ikemen’s skills were perfect for being a server. “I sort of need this job right now,” Isogai wasn’t exactly embarrassed by his low economic status, everyone knew and he wasn’t ashamed of his life. But sometimes the troubles piled up all at once and his poverty status was in full affect so he tried to hide things away from his friends. 

Noting his tone and not wanting to confront him about what he was doing in front of the other girls she reluctantly relented. Instead of interrogating him she merely sighed, “I will have a lemon tea please, and whatever you recommend for a snack. Nothing too heavy, if you would,” she said handing him her menu. Her tone said that they weren’t done talking about this, but she was willing to wait until later. The other girls scrambled to decide what they wanted since they were too busy watching their friends like a soap opera and they thought they would have more time to decide. Eventually everyone managed to place their order and things calmed down, “alright,” Isogai said writing everything down with a far more sincere smile now that he wasn’t the center of attention. “Your orders should be right out along with a honey toast cake for the table,” he said, “if there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask,” giving them a small bow and walking away. 

They remained quiet for a certain amount of time before Nakamura decided to break the silence, “alright, we’re all thinking it, but if no one’s gonna say it I will,” she said with an air of finality. “Isogai makes a good waiter, but if he worked in a maid café he’d make more money,” she said nodding making the other girls cough to catch their breath. 

“That is not what any of us were thinking Nakamura,” Okuda managed to squeak out. 

“Well now you are and you can’t tell me I’m wrong,” the English buff challenged her friends. 

“No we’re not,” Kayano said red faced and lying, she was, probably not as much as Nakamura, but it wasn’t that safe for work either. 

“He’d look good in a maid outfit, but I think he would look better as a butler,” Kataoka said absently as she observed the ikemen serving table to table with his charming smile glued to his face. She could imagine one day in the future, after they killed Sensei and got the reward. Most likely Isogai would be among the group to finish him off, but if he wasn’t and she was, she could see herself hiring him as a butler and pouring her tea every day. Realizing her three friends were staring at her she blushed and stammered, “w-well he would.” 

“Damn our class reps a dirty girl,” Nakamura said with a cat’s grin. 

“It’s not like that,” Kataoka shouted loudly drawing the eye of everyone in the café, including their waiter. Her face stained red she buried her face in the table hoping her embarrassment would kill her quickly. 

“Okay fine, you can have your butler, but after we get rich killing Sensei I’ll buy you a maid costume for just in case stuff,” Nakamura said as if that sentence was something you said every day. 

Not wanting to fight Kataoka just groaned again and asked, “can we just stop talking about this?” The other girls took pity on her and just smiled before changing the subject to other stuff, what they were going to be learning next semester, what shops they should go to next, any plans on killing Koro-Sensei that they thought up recently, typical teenage girl stuff. It brightened Kataoka’s mood, but every now and then she could feel her eyes drift to the handsomely dressed Ikemen. 

When Isogai arrived with their drinks and cakes, they thanked him without interrogating him, though Kataoka always seemed to be staring into his soul every time they locked eyes and Nakamura did call him Sebastian-sama for some reason. He didn’t question it though since he knew they would get the answers out of him somehow. So instead of worrying he opted out and simply made polite conversation that was a bit more intimate since they were his friend’s not just customers. 

The tea was wonderful and the cakes were tasty while not being heavy, the shop was excellent, Kataoka could tell that it wasn’t just the handsome waiter that drew customers in. ‘I’m sure it doesn’t hurt though,’ she grumbled in her head. Whenever Isogai moved to wait on another table of girls their age they cooed at him, pushed their chests out, and complimented him with the subtlety of a hammer and it made her mad. The only thing that held her back was that Isogai wasn’t flirting back at all, he was polite and kind like he always was with that smile of his, but he never gave the indication that he was anything but their waiter. Kataoka knew that she didn’t have the right to be jealous since they weren’t anything but friends, but she couldn’t help it. 

Eventually the bill came and the girls were ready to end their break, so they paid their bill and said goodbye to Isogai. He was glad they choose then to leave, ten more minutes and his shift would be up and they could have walked out with him. ‘That would have been a nightmare,’ he thought to himself as he served his last customers and moved to hang up his apron. “I’ll see you tomorrow Tena,” he said to his manager as he left. 

“Have a good night Yuuma,” Tena his grandmotherly manager, called to him, “try to have some fun today, you don’t want to look as old and withered as me before you get to high school.” 

“If I looked as pretty as you do now when I’m in high school I might have to quit this job and work at a maid café,” Isogai said jokingly, but the sincerity in his voice bled through enough to make his manager smile.

“Please you’re already too pretty to work in a maid café, if you looked as pretty as I do you’d never leave with your virtue intact Yuuma. Now get out of here,” she said branishing a towel threateningly. “It’s a beautiful day out, go and enjoy it,” she said giving her blessing in a snarky old person way. 

Giving one last wave Isogai went out the back entrance like a good employee, only to be ambushed by Kataoka who was sitting in the alley waiting for him on the stoop. This was not the first time that Isogai was ambushed by a girl from his school, this would not be the last time he was ambushed at his job by someone from his school, this was however the first time he was ambushed by a girl from his school at his job. It was also the first time that the girl who ambushed him was a girl he had feelings for, even though she was probably the third to last person he wanted to see right now. The first two would be Asano and his father, that would just be awful if they found out. 

“Hey Isogai,” Kataoka said causally, “pull up a seat,” she said patting a spot on the concrete stoop beside her. 

His first instinct was to run, Karasuma Sensei had taught them to do so when faced with an adversary that wasn’t Koro Sensei. Their octopus teacher wouldn’t do any harm to them, but a human or animal opponent would and as assassins they were meant to assassinate not fight. Unless you were you know, Karma or Nagisa, someone like the former loved to fight and the latter was surprisingly deadly in battle. But then Kataoka was dangerous in a bunch of ways, she wasn’t going to be deadly right now so Isogai decided to talk to her but he remained standing in front of her. “Hello Kataoka, I thought you would be with the other girls,” he said trying to make the conversation lean away from the topic he didn’t want to discuss. 

“They went on ahead, when I talked to that nice lady who you work for and she said you would be off the clock in a little bit if I wanted to wait outside. She also told me that she liked me more than the other girls who asked about you so she let me stay,” she said with a grin. “Since it would only be a short wait I told the other girls that I would catch up after I spoke to you,” for some reason her face redden a bit, but he didn’t want to mention it. 

“Dammit Tena,” Isogai lightly swore under his breath, he didn’t mean it but it was still annoying. 

“I told you we were going to have this talk,” Kataoka said, “I did wait until after you were done with work.” 

“I know, and I’m grateful, but that doesn’t mean I want to have it,” Isogai said even though they knew they needed to. 

“I know,” Kataoka said with a sigh, “listen, okay. If it was something else, something that wouldn’t get you in trouble like this I would just leave you alone and mind my own business. But Isogai, this is what got you sent to Class E in the first place, if someone saw you you could be expelled,” her tone was gentle yet firm, she didn’t want to attack him after all. 

“I know the risks Kataoka,” he said harsher than he wanted, he instantly felt sick when he saw the hurt in her eyes. “Look I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, “I do know the risks and I know you’re just worried about me. I appreciate it, but I don’t have much choice, my mom’s sick, she’s been working two jobs to support us and she collapsed from exhaustion one day.” 

“Oh my god Isogai, is she alright,” Kataoka asked, hurt feelings instantly forgotten when Isogai brought that up. 

Smiling warmly Isogai said, “yeah, she’s fine now, but she has to take it easy for a while so she had to quit one of her jobs. She shouldn’t even be working the one she still has for at least a week, but she’s kind of stubborn like that. Things have always been tight at my house since it’s just the two of us and now they’ve gotten even tighter… I just need to do something so she doesn’t overwork herself again,” he said finally sitting down next to her. “I’m sorry I got mad, it’s just that between my mom getting sick and being terrified that I could be found out any moment and expelled, it’s just been a whole stressful situation.” 

“You don’t have to be such a stick in the mud Isogai,” Kataoka said with a giggle, “you’re only human, even super humans like Karasuma Sensei get angry sometimes, I’m sure mere mortals like the two of us are allowed to get overwhelmed sometimes.” 

At that moment Kataoka didn’t look like a mere mortal, she looked like a goddess, he didn’t say anything though, it would have sounded stupid even coming from an Ikemen. “Well I’m still sorry Kataoka, you’re always helping out others and I know you are only trying to help me, I shouldn’t take my problems out on you.” 

Kataoka decided to make a comforting friendship gesture, at least that’s what she told herself as she laid her head on his shoulder. She had seen the female protagonist in a manga Fuwa had lent her do this to the male lead when he was having a hard time. It was strictly platonic of course, though that didn’t stop her from blushing as she did. “It’s okay Isogai, like I said you’re allowed to be stressed. I want you to know that I did have reasons for questioning you getting a job, especially since it’s the reason you were banished into Class E with the rest of us idiots.” 

“Y-you’re not an idiot Kataoka,” the Ikemen managed to squeak out, it was true that her grades slipped back in the main building. But now that she didn’t have to help Tsuchiya with her school work she was back at the top of Class E and practically the school, she was tied for seventh overall with Takebayashi. 

“But I was Isogai,” she said with a smile taking her head off of his should and shook his head when it looked like he was about to argue, “don’t say I wasn’t Isogai because I was. I was stupid because I let Tsuchiya use me as her work horse so she wouldn’t get sent to Class E while I fell to Class End. But I’ve gotten better thanks to Koro-Sensei and you guys, so don’t feel bad about agreeing with me, because we’re supposed to get better at things at this age.” She paused for a moment before meeting his eyes again, “just be careful okay, I know that you’re working for your family, but you could still get in trouble and expelled if someone from the school catches you.” 

“I will,” Isogai promised. He knew he couldn’t break a promise to Kataoka even if he wanted to, it was just that sometimes intentions aside circumstances just line up so that things happen and cause you to break them. 

“It’s just that you’re an important part of the class Isogai,” Kataoka said looking down, “we need you if we’re going to kill Koro-Sensei.” 

“I’m not that important,” he said attempting to shrug off her worry. “I mean it’s not like I’m going to try and be expelled, but if I’m caught I’m sure someone can replace me and take up my slack.” 

“No one can replace you Isogai, no one,” she said with half fury in her eyes, but the sincerity of her statement was clear. Coughing and taking a moment to compose herself, “what I mean is that you’re one of the leaders of the class, people like you and listen to you when you speak. Not to mention you’re the best in the class when it comes to knife work, losing you would be a huge loss to our total forces as an assassination classroom. So don’t forget you’re an important member of our class and important to me,” she said before realizing what she said. Her eyes went wide as she stared into Isogai’s and her face burned hot. 

“D-did you just,” Isogai started, but Kataoka didn’t let him finish. 

“Anyway,” she said starting to back away since she didn’t want to have this talk right now, “the girls have been waiting for me, if I don’t hurry I might never find them. I guess I’ll see you in a few days when school starts,” she said walking out of the alley they were talking in quickly. 

“Kataoka,” Isogai called out after her and she stopped before slowly turning around, she was embarrassed enough as it was she didn’t want it to get worse. When she looked at him he was standing up straight and looking at the ground, his face was probably as red as hers, the damn ikemen had to top everything everyone did. Still, he looked determined, “you’re important to me too,” he said meeting her eyes and her heart swelled. “Have a good night,” he said with a wave so she would feel free to leave the awkward moment behind them. 

“Yeah,” the girl who was more mermaid than school girl said after swallowing the breath she didn’t know she was hold, “you too.” And she ran to catch up with the other girls with the summer sun still overtop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. The Chiba Hayami part was just shameless fanservice on my part because I like the ship, it doesn’t have much to do with the story itself but I hope you enjoyed it either way.  
> P. S. S. I want to apologize for anyone who was uncomfortable with the last chapter and the forced crossdressing. I realize that it makes some people uncomfortable, I kind of find it funny because they are just manga characters but I still I am sorry if there were people who didn’t like it and was offended. I will probably not be making a second part to it kind of because of this and also because the recent chapters with Nagisa’s mom… well I will leave it at that to avoid spoiling anything, but it left a bad taste in my mouth so I will not be continuing it.


	5. Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assassination Classroom isn’t mine obviously. So this chapter is done, it wasn’t supposed to be nearly this long, but hey I have a hard time ending things. It took a lot longer than I had planned, I had wanted to get this out around Valentine’s day since I had an idea for a one-shot for that time of the year, but Katsucon came and it was very distracting. I did have fun though and got to see Assassination Classroom cosplayers though so it was worth it I suppose. Just a warning when reading this chapter, a lot of it takes place at night, but the characters can sort of see each other well, I sort of applied the manga logic when it comes to nighttime, you can see almost as clear as if it was daytime, except when the plot actually says you can’t.

It was the morning of February 28th, the last day of February and tomorrow is first day of March. The leaders of the world were panicking, after all the unstoppable monster than blew up 70% of the moon said he would do the same to the earth when March came. No one was sure if the creature meant as soon as the month started or if he was merely saying sometime in March he would do what he promised, but if it was the former than they are doomed and if it’s the latter they don’t have much time. All their preparations have failed, every hit man they hired had been sent back defeated, the only hope they had left was their biggest longshot, the target’s assassination classroom. 

Miles away from the assembly where the world leaders argued and panicked, somewhere in Japan, at the dormitories of Kunugigaoka Jr. High for Class 3-E was an even more stressed situation. While they were not running around screaming at each other the atmosphere was definitely heavier. It was quiet in the big room on the common floor, no one was talking, the only sounds were the clacking of those choosing to clean their weapons or the flipping of pages from the few who were passing the time reading books. The tension in the air was so thick and goopy you could cut it with an anti-Sensei knife. Everyone in the class was used to failing; they were after all the Class E for End classroom, but the stakes had never been this high before. For almost a year now they had been trained as assassins so that they could kill their teacher, but despite their best efforts and the best efforts of several professionals the octopus like teacher was still alive. 

Any day now the world could end, despite the creatures’ bubbly and personable demeanor, there wasn’t a student in Class E that doubted Koro-Sensei would destroy the planet just as he had promised. He never breaks a promise after all. They already feel like failures, and while they don’t think Koro-Sensei will destroy the planet the following day, he would have said something, the octopus was terrible at keeping secrets. But still, they had been training for months to kill their teacher and only a few times had they even come close to killing him. Granted, they have come closer than anyone in the government or army had, but close doesn’t matter when it comes to assassinations, not if they didn’t get it done. 

They had one last big plan left, it wouldn’t be ready for at least a week if they pushed it, they would need two if they wanted it to go perfectly, all that matter was if Koro-Sensei gave them enough time or not. They believe that their Sensei was a creature of his word, but they also believed that he loved the world just as much as they did and they were counting on him putting off his world destroying plans until the last moment. Still, this might be their last night on earth and some of the students were planning on trying to stop it while others were trying to spend it without regrets. 

Everyone was trying to find something to do, something to pass the time while still using their time right. Some like Maehara were trying to make peace with their social contacts, the playboy was on his phone texting his various girlfriends apologizing for how he has been a jerk all these months and that he would apologize when he could but he would be out of contact for the next few weeks. Others, like Kanzaki where making peace with their parents, the Japanese ace was on the phone outside of the dorm apologizing to her father that he did not have the daughter that he wanted, but not for being who she was. Okajima was going around to each girl asking if they wanted to spend what could potentially be their last night on earth as virgins. He got yelled at and hit for his perviness, but no more than that since everyone knew he wasn’t serious. He was just trying his luck even though he knew no one would take him up on his offer, but he still believed in the power of perversion in his heart so he knew he had to try. Sugino was out at one of the ball parks with some of his teammates from both Kunugigaoka and the city league playing a few games since he knew they might not get the chance again. Chiba and Hayami where outside despite the cold practicing on as many targets as they could, they knew their marksmenship skills would play a key role in their Sensei’s death, they had to be sharp. 

Kataoka, one of Class 3-E’s leaders was checking her work on the final plan for the third time that hour. Everything was written on a special anti-Sensei scroll that they received from the defense office so that their teacher would have no chance to steal it and find out their plans before hand. Everything checked out, just like it had a thousand and one times that night but she didn’t know what else to do. She wanted to slam her hands down on the table, but she knew that wouldn’t look good in front of her… ‘troops’ after all they were professionals after all. Or at least that’s what the world governments considered them to be as they heaped the blame on them for not dealing with Sensei already. The extra stress didn’t help which Kataoka almost shouted a week ago at them when they brought Isogai and her before the counsel so they could chew the students out for their failures in killing Koro-Sensei so far. Luckily countless school council meetings with Asano and his father had prepared them for much more dangerous opponents than a room full of old men who cared more about their jobs than the world. 

They threatened to pull their funding, to just blow up the school and deal with Koro-Sensei that way, but both of the class reps knew they were bluffing. They had already invested so much time and money into the assassination classroom; they couldn’t stop so close to the deadline, they needed every option they had to kill Koro-Sensei. The pencil in Kataoka’s hand snapped at the memory alone and the whole common room turned to stare at her and her face grew red from embarrassment and frustration. 

Isogai, who had actually been distracted watching Kataoka for the past few hours from his part in the final trap, saw that she was reaching her limit. “Kataoka,” he said walking over to her and breaking the silent stares, “I was going to do a perimeter sweep to make sure that everything is working right due to the cold. Two sets of eyes are better than one, could you come with me to make sure I don’t screw up?” 

Everyone knew Isogai was asking for Kataoka’s sake since no one believed that an ikemen of his level could miss something, but they chose to pretend they weren’t watching Kataoka. Sighing because she knew he was taking pity on her she agreed, “sure, let me just grab my coat,” Kataoka said. ‘I need a break from the papers and planning,’ she rationalized to herself as she put on her coat, ‘a walk with my cru-, fellow class rep might be good for me, especially with the night air.’ She walked to the front of the dorm room where Isogai was waiting for her, that frustratingly handsome smile on his face irked her since she wasn’t supposed to be letting him distract her. If they killed Koro-Sensei and she was the one to do it, she would ask Isogai out without fear and use the reward money to take him out on the best date of his life, but until then no distractions. Not even if he was so pretty despite having muscles you could see through his waistcoat and jacket. 

“Shall we be off,” he asked opening the door for her and somehow his smile seemed to grow even wider, while still being gentlemanly. If she was a stereotypical tsundere she would have called him a baka and punched him in the face, but since she wasn’t, she just tried to smile back tired as she was and allowed him to be a gentleman. Someone wolf whistled behind them as they left, but despite Kataoka’s head whipping around at speeds that would make Koro-Sensei jealous, she couldn’t’ tell who did it. She just gave the whole room the ‘I’m watching you,’ fingers before turning around and leaving with Isogai who looked like he was about to crack up. “Shut up,” she told him embarrassed before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him outside with her. 

The air outside was crisp but not cold, they were lucky that it hadn’t snowed and wasn’t supposed to for a long time. You would think with Koro-Sensei’s weakness to water that a winter storm would be good for them, but no one liked the cold human or octopus monster. Besides, the wind and snow made it harder for even Chiba and Hayami to draw a bead on something as fast moving as Koro-Sensei. The two class reps examined all the traps, making sure they were marked so that their fellow students could tell where they were, but subtly enough that Koro-Sensei wouldn’t be able to. The traps were more a distraction, much like their two cages on the island, to lead the world destroyer to the main area where Karma, Maehara, Hinata, Kataoka, and Isogai, the best knife users in the class were waiting for him. They were to engage him in the designated areas underneath the trees which at that time would be covered in nets made from anti-Sensei they salvaged from Shiro’s attempts to kill Sensei. Above that battlefield, anti-Sensei BB’s would rain down as the battle specialists engaged hampering his movements so that hopefully the knife wielders would be able to at least get a few tentacles to slow him down. When the shower of pellets stop the knife wielders would back off so that the firing squad could do their job, and from all directions they would open fire while Chiba and Hayami were waiting in reserve like before to deal the finishing blow. 

The Adult Game Protagonist and the Tsundere Sniper had been pulling double duty with their markmenship practice and physical exercises so they could work up a sweat. Due to Sensei’s sense of smell, it would be hard to hide in the forest as opposed to the ocean where they had previously cornered him. So instead of trying to disguise or erase their scent, they decided that they would do what they did on the island, only a much larger scale. They would have dozens of uniforms with their scents on them, they were to wear at least three different uniforms a day to saturate them with their scents. Other students would be wearing them along with several automatic turrets Karasuma-Sensei had been able to get the military to lend them and they would fire from all angles while the final two aim to kill. They had other tricks to make sure that it wouldn’t fail, and Karasuma-Sensei’s contacts in the military had several different rocks that could be launched into the sun if they failed and Koro-Sensei went into his Ultimate Defense Mode. It wasn’t the perfect plan, but it was the best they could come up with since everything else failed. 

“So how’s it going,” Isogai said trying to make conversation with his crush. 

“Stressed,” she said tersely, but then her face managed to smile, “but I’ll admit that this helps, thank you Isogai.” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Isogai swore, “I just needed help.” 

“Well you know Ikemegu is best when she’s helping others,” she said making a muscle to show off. 

The two of them laughed a bit as they continued on, “you know that you don’t have to do everything and help everybody if you don’t want to,” Isogai mentioned not wanting to upset her. 

“The same could be said about you Isogai,” Kataoka said with a challenging smirk, “you don’t have to help everyone or do everything yourself, but you still do. Anyone could have made the rounds, it didn’t have to be you, but still, you volunteered, why?” 

They eventually reached the shooting range, the last area they had to check, as they talked. The trap wasn’t supposed to go through there, but they still had small traps to scare away Sensei, they couldn’t be too cautious anymore. “I volunteered because I saw you were about to blow and thought maybe taking a walk with me would be the marginally better option than going over the same plans you’ve been going over all night.” 

Part of her wanted to yell at him for saying something so stupid, but she wasn’t really tsundere though her face was red. “Maybe a little better,” she grudgingly, “I just want to make sure that everything’s perfect, because if not…” she let her words hang not wanting to say them out loud. 

“Hey, look at me,” Isogai said gently placing his hands on her shoulders and made her face him, “it’s going to be okay,” he said. For some reason, despite what he was saying being completely impossible, she believed him. “Besides, if the world does end tomorrow, or the next day, or a two weeks from now, then shouldn’t we be doing something we really enjoy?” 

“Oh and taking a walk with me in the middle of the night in the winter while we check the traps to kill our teacher who might blow up the world is something you enjoy. Something that you’d like to do if this was your last day on earth,” she asked. She was worried that it could have sounded rude, but Kataoka had tried not to sound frustrated, she meant to sound like she was teasing him. 

“Well,” he said quickly after giving it some thought, “I mean it could be warmer and I wish we didn’t have to check on death traps, but yeah, I wouldn’t mind.” 

A crimson blush crept on her face, but before she could say something they heard a branch snap and they immediately turned their heads. Behind them, were Hayami and Chiba, who were holding hands. The three of them just stared at each other quietly as if waiting for one of the others to say something. 

“…S-so what are the two of you doing out here,” Hayami asked trying to break the awkward silence. 

“C-checking the traps for our final move against Koro-Sensei,” Kataoka replied equally nervous, but now that the silence was broken she felt compelled to explain. “What are the two of you doing out here,” which sounded stupid even to her since she knew what they were doing since they were at the firing range after all. Though her eyes didn’t leave their still interlocked hands. 

Hayami followed where Kataoka’s line of sight went and saw what she was staring at, her face went red, but surprisingly she smiled when she looked back. “We were just out practicing for the big day, making sure things like the cold doesn’t interfere with our aim or the condition of our guns,” she said evenly. 

“It looks to be a bit more than that,” Kataoka mused, she didn’t want to be nosy or anything, but a romantic development between Class-E’s two snipers was juicy gossip and the female class rep was only human. Technically as the class rep she was supposed to get on their case about romantic relationships getting in the way of their school work or something that’s normally shown in manga, but she was really just happy for her classmates. 

“I-it’s not-,” Chiba started, but then stopped as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. He didn’t want to say that it wasn’t like that since it was exactly like that. The boy with the blinding bangs had confessed his feelings to Rinka a little while ago, and to his shock and pleasure she said she felt the same way about him. Part of him wanted to deny it since he didn’t like attention and knew if he confirmed what Kataoka was getting at then rumors would spread through their class and their relationship that was just starting would be at the forefront of everything. But another more sensible part didn’t want to deny what was going on between him and his new girlfriend, (he had asked her to be and she said yes and they had made out for a few moments, Rinka had been the one to initiate), especially since it would hurt Rinka if he denied what they were. He’d rather spend his whole life in the old Class-E than hurt her. “It’s not completely incorrect to say that,” he said awkwardly since he didn’t know where to find the secret life cheat that would allow him to skip this conversation and just go back to hanging out with Rinka. 

Luckily for Chiba, his Tsundere Sniper was far less of a tsundere than the class assumed and cooed at his awkwardness. Reaching up to his chin she pulled him down for a quick peck on the lips, not caring if they had an audience. Afterwards she gave the red boy a pat on the cheek, “you’re so cute Ryu,” she said blushing at her use of a pet name. “Is that good enough for the two of you,” she said turning to the class reps who nodded dumbly, “good. Then I don’t have to bring up the fact that we’re not the only ones looking suspiciously lovey-dovey out here,” she said not waiting for an answer from her sputtering leaders. “Come on Ryu, I think we’ve had enough practice and it’s getting a bit could out for me, lets head back to the dorms,” she said taking his arm once more and dragging him with her. “Have a good night you too, don’t’ stay out too late otherwise you’ll set a bad example for the rest of us,” she called back channeling her inner Nakamura. 

“We’re not doing anything bad,” Kataoka shouted, but it was somewhat drown out by Isogai shouting right beside her. “If you want to avoid a scene you shouldn’t go through the front entrance, everybody’s in the common room. The windows on the second floor and the fire escape should be clear though. 

“Why are you encouraging them,” Kataoka asked in a huff, she didn’t mind if the two of them were in a romantic relationship, but still she was annoyed at Hayami’s digs and technically they were supposed to chastise them a little. 

“Well, they are our friends. Shouldn’t we be happy for them,” Isogai asked sheepishly, he loved how Kataoka looked when she was frustrated, but not when it was directed at him. Even if they were in the dark and he could barely see her, he knew she was doing her angry pout, he could just feel it. 

“Okay you have a point,” she agreed with a sigh, he did look cute nervous though, she admitted to herself. ‘Well he’s cute all the time,’ a prickly voice in her head said softly, ‘we don’t normally see our sweet ikemen look so nervous. It’s actually kind of exciting to see such a mortal look on such a perfect boy.’ 

‘Shut up,’ Kataoka whispered to the voice, ‘he isn’t our ikemen, he’s our friend and his own ikemen. Crap I need to say something before he realizes I’m talking to myself.’ “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m just worried with the world potentially coming to an end… The two of them are the keys to our plan and Koro-Sensei knows that, what if they get distracted because of their feelings for one another and it costs the world everything?” It wasn’t a likely outcome, and she did trust Hayami and Chiba to keep their romantic relationship separate from their mission. But still, love was one of the most distracting things at their age, which she knew from experience. 

“Well I suppose that’s true,” Isogai agreed, “but hypothetically, even if they didn’t say it, doesn’t mean that their feelings wouldn’t’ distract them anyway,” he managed to say evenly. 

“What do you mean,” Kataoka asked, even though there was a bit of a flutter in her chest when he spoke. 

“Well I just mean, sure being in a relationship, especially a new one can be pretty distracting. Not that I would know, never being in one myself, I was always too afraid to ask,” Isogai said rubbing the back of his head as he drifted off topic. “Well anyway, maybe it was a bit of a gamble since if either of them said no they would have been crushed which would have probably been even more distracting than a new relationship. But still, if the world ends tomorrow or next week or something… I certainly can’t blame them for not wanting to leave things unsaid.” Noticing Kataoka was staring at him intently he merely coughed into his hand, “‘better loving and losing versus never loving at all,’ and all that,” he said embarrassed. 

“S-so you’re saying that hypothetically…” Kataoka said finally taking her eyes off of Isogai for a moment to stare at her feet. “You would confess to a girl you like if you happen to,” she said in what the girls from the main building called her ‘cool onee-san’ voice. It was to show off how confident and nonchalant she was even if she wasn’t. 

“Well no, or maybe kind of,” Isogai stammered around, “I mean I would like to be the type of guy who puts himself out there, especially since the girl I have a thing for is sweet and wouldn’t tear into me even if she didn’t feel the same way,” he rambled, “but I mean even though I know that I’m still a coward, I couldn’t confess to her even though I wanted too so much.” 

‘Is he talking about me,’ she wondered/hoped. Why else would he be telling her this while the two of them were alone at night in the woods, it have a romantic feel about actually being there, but the description didn’t really do it justice. ‘I mean it isn’t really something you just come out and tell a girl, but then again I am pretty much Isogai’s best friend after Maehara. Maybe he just doesn’t think of me as a girl so he’s okay with telling me stuff like this. Okay Megu, stop with that line of thinking we have enough on our plate without drifting there even though it might be important and very real. “I’m sure any girl you are interested would love to have you. You’re… wonderful,” she had wanted to say perfect, but it hadn’t felt like something she would say. 

“I don’t know about that, it’s not like I’m all that great,” Isogai said humbly, but from the sound of his voice he seemed happy. “Not to mention that this girl is amazing, and like a thousand years out of my league. She is stronger and smarter than me, she is sweet and has a sense of responsibility that you just want to follow. Not to mention she’s beautiful and is one of the best swimmers I’ve ever seen…she’s like a mermaid from a fairy tale,” he said meeting her eyes finally and looking shy. 

The swimmer froze when he finished, “Isogai,” she said like a whisper, she hadn’t even hoped that he would be doing this today of all times. 

“Wait please,” he said getting closer to her so he was within arm’s length to her, “I don’t want to sound like a jackass right now, but can you please just let me talk. If you just let me say what I brought you out here to say, if you do I promise that I will let you do anything you want. Yell at me until tomorrow, slap me across the face as hard as you can and kick me in the gut, don’t say anything and just run away in horror. Fine, whatever you want if you just let me get through what I need to say because if you don’t I’m going to lose my courage,” he said practically pleading to her. Covering her mouth so she wouldn’t speak, she knew that what her answer would alleviate his fears, but she cared about him enough to let him get it out so she nodded to let him speak. 

“Thank you, I’m sorry for sounding like an ass, but I’ve kind of had to work myself up for the last hour since we came out here to confess and I can’t really stop or I’m gonna be the one to run away,” Isogai said giving her a smile after his rant. “Okay,” he said taking a deep breath, “I’ve liked you for a long time, like since back in the main building. I know that I’m not exactly the minority in that, after all every boy and girl in the school has had a crush on you at some point. I thought that when I was forced to transfer to Class E… I thought that I wouldn’t have the chance to say how I feel, especially since I was just another member of Class E for End. But then I saw that you were transferring to and I was happy since we would be in the same class. I’m sorry, I know it’s selfish since you were in trouble for it and nothing that hurts you should ever make me happy, but I was. I didn’t become a class rep just because you were, I’m not that bad, but I was glad when you became one with me. ” 

“I figured that maybe since we were spending more and more time together maybe I would work up the courage eventually, but I never could, not even after Koro-Sensei came to our class. Council meetings, extra training sessions, both of our school trips, even though one turned out to be a death trap, the sports festival when I thought I’d be kicked out, working at the preschool, it wasn’t until our run in with the God of Death that I realized the depths of my feelings.” 

“Before then, I had always wanted to confess but managed to talk myself out of it at the last minute. I told myself that the world comes first and that we need to focus on killing Koro-Sensei first or just that it wasn’t the right time and I should wait for a better time. But after we split up, you went with the rescue team and I went on the battle unit, I realized that we really could have died and I could have never told you how I felt. When we were all defeated again and rounded up as bait I thought it was over and being a selfish jerk I kind of wanted my last words to be me confessing because I was too scared to hear the answer. But then we got rescued again, not that I’m complaining, since we’re still alive, but I managed to tell myself that it wasn’t the time again.” 

“So time past and I started getting angry at myself for being an idiot, especially since I know you wouldn’t hurt me or anything just for the fun of it. And I am blabbering,” the male class rep said pinching his nose in frustration. “Listen,” he said looking back at her, eyes full of sincerity, she almost giggled at him when he did if he didn’t look so serious and she wasn’t too busy letting tears fall down her face. Maybe it was stress, in fact that would be the exact excuse she made if he brought it up, not that she was a sappy girl who was crying because her crush confessed to her, such a thing would be ridiculous. “Listen, I know it’s selfish, but the world really could end in a few days, maybe even tonight. I don’t want it to end with the biggest regret of my life still inside of me. So I’m just gonna come out and say it, I like you Kataoka, in a whole lot more than being a friend type of way. There, I’m done now, I’m grateful you stayed until the end of my stupid ramblings. If you want to slap me, yell at me, or run away I completely und-,” he started to say but he was cut off by Kataoka grabbing both sides of his face. 

“You finally finished idiot,” she said with her loving smile and pulled him towards her, kissing him like a goddess. Kataoka didn’t quite know what she was doing, the only kisses she had ever had were back in grade school, from a couple of truly desperate girls who stole kisses from her when she was unaware, but she hoped she was doing a good job, and from Bitch-Sensei. It was sort of how Bitch-Sensei kissed members of the class as a reward… or a punishment, but with less intensity and sucking the air out of his lungs replaced with gentleness, she didn’t want to kiss anyone like that until it was her wedding night. It’s the first time she kissed someone; she hoped she was doing it right. She wouldn’t have worried so much if it wasn’t for the fact that Isogai was a perfect kisser, so warm and gentle even when taken by surprise, while still being strong and surprisingly manly. She loved how good and responsible he was with and at everything, but seriously this, did he have to be and ikemen at this. Slowly her complaints and nerves drained away though as his hands reached around her pulling her in and she lost herself in his lips. It shouldn’t of been as wonderful and sugarcoated like a fairytale kiss, but it was still more wonderful than she had ever thought a kiss could be. 

Eventually though they were forced to break the kiss due to lack of air and they reluctantly separated and Isogai brought his arms to his sides. It was then, the leaders of Class 3-E, two of their most physically capable students doubled over and started sucking in air. Assassin training had long since stopped being a problem for either of them physically, but a few minutes of rather chaste kisses left them sucking wind. 

“So,” Isogai said finally recovering and standing up straight, “does this mean you feel the same way as I do,” he said hopefully. 

Laughing a bit Kataoka used her newly recovered strength to push him over, “yes you dork, it means I like you too. Now come on,” she said lending him her hand, “we checked all the traps, I think it’s time for us to go back to the dorms. I think we can find a couch in the common room to cuddle on for tonight.” 

“Y-you don’t mind if everyone finds out about us,” Isogai asked surprised. He certainly didn’t mind if everyone knew, he felt like he could shout it from the top of every building in Japan that they were together, but he thought Kataoka would have wanted to remain a bit more discreet. 

“Maybe I would have if we had more time to waste, keeping a relationship secret could be fun, but we don’t,” Kataoka said solemnly. “So I want to spend the time I have left without regrets, I want to spend as much time as I can with you Isogai and I don’t care who knows it,” she said offering him her arm so they would walk beside each other. 

With a smile Isogai linked his arm with hers, “no regrets huh? I could get behind that,” and he gave her a quick peck on the lips, it wasn’t as deep as their first one, but the feelings they felt for each other definitely were there. 

“Besides,” Kataoka said as they began walking, her face red but smiling, “I’m the one who should be nervous, my boyfriend is the infamous Ikemen of Class 3-E, the girls from the main building might tear me apart for taking you off the eligible bachelors list.” 

“Boyfriend huh,” Isogai teased, they hadn’t really talked about it in the few minutes they had after his confession, but he was more than happy that she was already calling him that. “I like that,” he said with a smile, “but I might be the one who needs protecting, after all most of those girls could forgive their beloved Onee-sama for kissing someone, but they would never forgive anyone who despoiled her lips,” when Kataoka giggled at his teasing he smiled even wider. “Oh you think that’s funny, well let me tell you Maehara and Okajima might like the idea of hordes of girls chasing after them, but I certainly don’t, especially when they’d be out for my blood.” 

“Don’t worry,” Kataoka said leaning up to kiss his forehead, “I’ll protect you,” she had meant to say that ‘she’d protect him from the scary main building girls,’ but decided the first part alone was enough, it was how she felt anyway and that was enough for right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over, it’s finally over, it took a lot of time and procrastinating to get this out, I’d like to think I did an okay job, but I am a bit critical. This chapter is the first to feature outright romance, I rarly write about that stuff since I odn’t think it’s my forte but I like to try new things. Maybe Isogai’s rant at the end was a bit out of character and sloppy, but I didn’t really know what else to do for it so I just went with what I first wrote. The Chiba Hayami thing was just purely fanservice for both readers and me, since I think they are the most universally shipped couple in the fandom. Next chapter will be Valentine’s Day themed and will not focus on Isogai and Kataoka, sort of like an intermission.


	6. The Siren and the Slasher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, it's been a really long time since I updated this, I have been working on stories, I just haven't finished any, it's weird because even if this says it's only chapter 6 it's chapter 10 in my documents... so yeah stuff has gotten in the way. Part 1 of 2 parts, originally it was just going to be one since the darker parts of the story were meant to be a bit of a joke, but some people like dark stuff so I figured why not space it out since the second half isn’t done yet anyway. I’m just so happy that Isogai and Kataoka have actually canon evidence now since chapter 159, my OPT!!!! But unfortunately I’m a terrible procrastinator and just got a new job making it harder to write. I hope you enjoy this I had fun writing a slightly darker sort of AU story. Part 2 should be up within a week or a month who knows with me.

All throughout the major cities of Europe the flames of chaos burned the people’s souls while terror gripped their hearts. For the past year the country had fallen prey to a serial killer, someone was targeting young women, murdering them with a single stab to the heart and then leaving their bodies in the middle of the most crowded areas in a city for the world to see. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the killings, no pattern between the victims other than they were women, their age range, and how they were killed. The killer preyed upon tourists and locals alike, the rich and poor, all nationalities, hair color, eye color, body size or type, ill or healthy, none of it seemed to matter to the killer. Even worse, was that after a year of random killings no one had even caught a glimpse of the killer or killers, the authorities didn’t even know if the killer was a he, she, or they, much less what the killer looked like. The monster that lurked in the shadows, Cupid, they called it do to the manner of killings, was becoming even more famous than what Jack the Ripper’s legend evolved into. 

It turns out that Cupid was in fact a handsome man, beautiful even, the type of beautiful that defied gender or sexuality, but simply pure aesthetic pleasure to all the senses. His was the type of beauty that men and women would lay their hearts at his feet for a glance at his smile and shatter them once he walked away. Tonight he was in Venice, it had been months since he had last laid a lovely lady to rest in the watery city and the urge caught him like always. He was feeling bored, normally just the act of the hunt was enough to set fire in his blood, but lately, the sport didn’t do much for him. There were three kinds of women out after nightfall, ones who had their heads in the sand and have yet to hear of him yet, those who were obviously traps set up by the police to catch him, and the many who came out in droves to see if the rumors were real. The former and the latter were far too easy to even give him a bit of lightning in his bones, the middle group was farm more fun to play with but more of a hassle, yet even they didn’t provide the challenge he was searching for. 

Then he saw her while he was talking to a member of the third category in an outdoors bar. The fan girl had a cute and had a lovely bosom large enough so he would feel some resistance as he slid his knife in, without being too large to obstruct his blade. Lovely as she was, she would have been a snack, a called shot, he never had a chance to lay a goddess to rest. Politely he excused himself from the conversation and walked over to the angelic being sitting alone at a table. She had most beautiful thing he had ever seen, including himself, and he itched to pierce her heart right then and there. But he stopped himself, such a creature needed to be romanced before taking the plunge, after all only weak and selfish men who only cared for their own gratification skipped foreplay. And while he was many things, most of them wicked and terrible, no one alive could call Isogai Yuuma selfish and weak. “Hello there,” he said super casually while giving her a short bow and his winning smile, “may I buy you a drink?” He asked in perfect Italian. 

The beautiful woman wasn’t even looking at him when he first arrived, she was too busy people watching with her own steely gaze. She rolled her eyes as if wondering what lowly peasant dared look up the queen, but once she saw him her eyes widened in wonder. “N-no,” she stuttered and once she saw his face fall she quickly recovered, “I mean, I already have a drink, enough for the evening,” she said nodding to her glass and the wine bottle next to it. 

“Oh I see,” Isogai said disappointed, he was unused to being rejected, most women jumped at the chance to talk to him when they thought he talked. 

“I-it’s my favorite vintage you see, sweet and refreshing, you don’t find it quite so often these days,” the woman began babbling a bit before recovering, “but it does taste better when shared with pleasurable company if you would like to share a glass with me,” she let the implication linger without saying. 

“It would be my honor,” Isogai said with another bow and took the seat offered smoothly. They observed each other for a moment, the man was wearing a button down shirt and dress pants while the woman was dressed in a seafoam dress that split at the middle of her thigh. “May I be selfish and ask you to honor me again with your name, you fit well as some nameless beauty of mystery, but ,” he said with a smile. 

“I have the pleasure of being Kataoka, Kataoka Megu,” she said extending a hand to the handsome man before her. “I enjoy a good mystery myself, but sometimes I like to spoil the ending for myself when the, ‘story,’ is just too enticing,” she said flashing the man a smoky look with her eyes. 

“Oh so you’re Japanese,” Isogai said raising an eyebrow, she did look it, but he didn’t want to make the assumption, being racist was completely unacceptable even if it was his own race. 

“And yourself,” Kataoka asked with a gentler smile. 

“I am Isogai Yuuma, and I happen to be Japanese as well,” he said taking her hand. When he did though, there was something that seemed to spark between them, as if they had a connection between them that they didn’t know until they touched. 

“What an exciting coincidence, a pleasure to meet you Isogai.” 

“The pleasure is all mine,” he said. 

The two of them settled into the conversation and the rest of the world began to fall apart leaving only the two of them. Eventually though the night wore on though and it began to get late, “I’m really sorry, I must be going,” Kataoka said excusing herself abruptly. 

This shocked Isogai since he normally didn’t need a reason to make a woman stay around him, “Are you alright,” he asked… worried might be the right word, but the sociopath didn’t know since he never worried about anything, much less for anyone. 

“Yes of course,” she said brushing her hand against Isogai’s face, “but in case you haven’t notice we’ve been talking for hours, and I think the owner wants to close up,” she said pointing to the man behind the bar who looked as if he wanted to the two of them out but didn’t want to be rude to such a cute couple. “I have to get home actually so perhaps it would be best to call it a night.” 

“Would you perhaps be willing to allow me to walk you home,” Isogai asked hoping that she would say yes. There was just something about the woman that he craved to be around her, all of his other playthings never made him feel this way. In his own mind, the handsome man never considered anything about what he did perverse or misogynistic, he killed women because he liked killing and he liked how women died better than men, but it wasn’t erotic or sexual for him. Isogai had no delusions about what he was, he knew what he did was wrong and that there was something wrong with him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to stop the fun and turn himself in. He never pretended that knowing that made him better than those who didn’t or pretended otherwise, in fact in knowing he felt it made him worse, but he held on to that belief because to Isogai it’s what made him a monster just another maniac. 

Yet, there was something about this woman that awakened a flame inside of him he thought he had long since snuffed out. He was falling for Kataoka, a stranger, and it bothered him. He knew he had to kill her that night; otherwise she would taint his heart forever and haunt him, turning his sickness into something dirty. If he let her walk away alive, to live tomorrow and the next day and so on, Isogai knew he wouldn’t be a monster anymore; he would just be a delusional maniac. “There is a madman out tonight, I don’t think I could sleep knowing something might happen to you,” he added hoping the desperation in his voice didn’t bleed out to her ears. 

For a moment Kataoka seemed to think over his request, “the last of ‘Cupid’s,’ victims was found two days ago in London, I hardly doubt he’s in Venice already,” Isogai struggled to not say, ‘you’d be surprised under his breathe.’ “And even if he was, you can trust me when I say I can take care of myself,” Kataoka said making a muscle with her to show off. Her arms were quite impressive, Isogai rarely cared about how the female form looked since every woman was lovely, but Kataoka’s arms… they were almost as large as his own and made his heart beat faster. “Still, even though I can protect myself, I suppose I could use the company if a certain handsome gentleman would be willing to walk me home,” the words were rather innocent, but her tone, her tone made him want to follow her to the ends of the earth, and not just for his normal reasons. 

The handsome monster shook his head to clear his thoughts before tossing a few bills on the table without counting them and walked over to his prey. “Shall we,” he said offering his arm and she took it with a giggle. Kataoka had to lead of course, but other than that the two couldn’t be happier. 

She dragged him through the city until they came to a secluded part of the city, “this is where you live,” Isogai tease. They were on the street overlooking a canal, there were a few hotels around, but no people about given how late it was. 

“Closer than you’d think,” she said mysteriously with a chuckle. Before he could ask her what she meant she surged forward and kissed him. It had been a years since Isogai had kissed a girl, even longer since a girl had kissed him, back then it had been a boring experience that had left him confused as a youth, especially when boys proved no better. But when Kataoka kissed him it was like, it was like the way the masters of old described in their epics, fire, ice, sounds and sights, sparks and butterflies, it was all their, as if streaming from her lips to his blood. 

It felt wonderful, too wonderful for the first time since he started kill, he was hesitating, how could this girl affect him in such a way so quickly. He needed to end this, end her so she didn’t end what he was, he thought as he fumbled for his knife. Before he could draw his blade though he felt the railing of the canal against his back and in surprise he broke the kiss. “I’m sorry about this Isogai,” Kataoka said giving him a small sad smile. Before Isogai could ask what she meant she tipped them into the water, she kept the smile even though his eyes were wide with shock, and not from the water. They sank to the bottom quickly despite his struggles, “I wasn’t lying when I said sorry Isogai,” Kataoka said despite the water her voice was still clear and angelic like it was on land. It seemed that she had no problem speaking and breathing underwater while Isogai didn’t have such luxuries. 

“You really were one of my favorites Isogai, probably my favorite, I might even cry after you’re gone,” Kataoka said with sadness bleeding into her golden eyes. “Girls gotta eat though, so even though I understand why you would, I hope you don’t hold it against me.” 

And in perhaps the sickest way, Isogai understood why Kataoka was doing this and couldn’t be angry with her in the slightest. He was after all a sociopathic killer who killed for reasons even unknown to him, he couldn’t blame Kataoka for doing it to feed herself. Still, he struggled, even if he did think it was justified he wouldn’t go down without a fight. It wasn’t going well for the serial killer, despite having arms roughly the same size Kataoka’s inhuman arms held far more strength than his human ones. The lack of air didn’t help in breaking her grip as he sank farther down, she wasn’t even choking him, she just had her arms around him like they were kissing moments ago, she was just watching him die. 

Eventually he stopped panicking and tried to use his brain, and remembered his knife and with his failing strength he stabbed her in the heart, or at least where the heart would be on a human. It apparently worked on whatever she was since it was her turn to be shocked and her golden eyes went wide. But instead of lashing out like he expected she smiled again, “I knew you were special,” was all she said as she closed her eyes and embraced him again. 

There was a slight thunk as his back finally hit the bottom of the canal and he was so tired. He tried to pull his knife out of Kataoka’s body but it was caught in her ribs. Part of him told him to leave the knife and swim away, but another part, a part of him that had been small and quiet for years told him to just accept his fate, he deserved worse. Even in the cold water Isogai found warmth in Kataoka’s embrace and for the first time in years listened to that small voice and let him drift away in the dark. There were far worse ways to go than in the arms of a beautiful woman. 

“And that is why the ikemen duo is late,” Hazama said finishing her story while the rest of her former classmates looked at her with shock and disgust. “What they aren’t ever late so the only reasonable assumption is that they murdered each other in Venice.” 

“I don’t think my best friend is a serial killer,” Maehara said chiming in now that the story was over. “And while I’m not positive, I’m pretty sure Kataoka isn’t a mermaid, especially one who lures men to their deaths to eat them.” 

“You don’t think and you’re pretty sure,” Hazama countered, “but you don’t know. The only things we do know, is that Isogai and Kataoka aren’t here yet and that they have been to Europe within the past year.” 

“For their honey moon,” Maehara said exasperated, he knew better than to argue with Hazama, but her story just creeped him out too much. “And they got back months ago, you’ve seen them since, Okano and I just had dinner with them last week,” he said gesturing to his girlfriend of 7 years. 

“Then why aren’t they here,” Hazama demanded. 

“There could be lots of reasons,” Maehara protested, “they could have been caught in traffic, they might have lost track of time, hell they might have parked their car to make out a bit before coming, I know I would have if my girlfriend let me.” Okano having matured over the ten years since middle school didn’t jump up to kick her boyfriend in the face, instead she affectionately kicked him in the shin and called him a dumbass while blushing. 

“Come on, the ikemen pair late to our 10th middle school reunion,” Hazama said strongly. “One or both of them are dead, that’s the only explanation. 

“Hey everybody, sorry we’re late,” Isogai said walking in with his arm around his wife lovingly. 

“Well I liked my story better,” Hazama said pouting because her story was now fiction instead of Schrödinger’s non-fiction. 


End file.
